is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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