He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
