After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
