I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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