Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
