my vag is so smooth its legendary
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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