That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
