you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
