No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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