dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
