omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
