Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
