didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
