We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
