eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
