That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
