Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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