Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
