Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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