For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
