How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
