whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
