Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
