It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
