That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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