that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you inspire me to be a worse person
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
