He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
