You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
