i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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