don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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