If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As shirtless as possible
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
