Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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