How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
