so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
50% drunk capacity currently
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
