North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He felt like a one man threesome
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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