i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
