mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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