I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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