This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
