toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
