If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The best revenge is premature balding
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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