on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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