Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
