Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
