And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
