areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
