I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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