and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im having a threesome with these popsicles
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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