she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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