dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
