watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
