Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
