Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize