That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
