Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
barbara walters just said penis...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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